A place of reflection

This blog is a place to report all that has been going on and my hopes for the future. I try not to be a downer most of the time, but as is my life, I have as many downs as ups.
Now everyone can follow along with what is going on in our lives here in the house behind the 'jungle.'

Friday, July 29, 2011

Monday's Appointment

So,  today I realize that it's Friday and I haven't gotten on my computer yet. Shocking! I live on this thing most days. This week has been crazy busy!
At our appointment on Monday we got a chance to talk to the Dr. about everything that had been going on. I asked him the questions I had before he started anything so he didn't have a chance to run away this time. :) Thanks for all the recommendations friends and family! The Dr. told us that we should keep trying Clomid a few more times to get a good sample and that if we were still not having any success that we would look into other things. This would involve sperm counts, x-rays, and many, many more trips to his office. The next step after all of that would be injections. He says... "The injections are pricy. Co-pays for them are usually in the $400-500 range." My jaw dropped! Mark said, "Insurance isn't covering any of this, so..." And Dr. Kopher says, "Then it would be around $2000 a month." A MONTH!?!?! Seriously? That's just the meds. We're not even talking what I'm sure would involve numerous visits and many more expensive tests. All I could think was 'SHIT. I guess that's the end of this journey.'
As I'm fighting the wall of tears behind my eyes, Kopher starts the ultrasound. As soon as the picture pops on the screen I see it. A fricken E-G-G! My first one in my entire life! I was soooooo excited! I almost jumped out of my stirrups. We just had the one, but it was still one. The meds finally worked! My body had given up and decided to cooperate with this adventure. Thank God!
Next he came back with a shot of some med to induce ovulation, and off I headed to work.
The rest of the week has been a big blur. I'm still a little fuzzy with excitement and can only imagine what the future looks like. We should know more soon.
To top it off and finally do something that I've wanted to do for a long time, I joined Weight Watchers. So far, I'm hungry but I feel great. It's only day 1 and I have a long way to go, but I'm determined to stay with it and hope to make Mark join me.

Fingers crossed for the next few weeks!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Nerves

It's the day before a doctor's appointment and the nerves are kicking in already. I know that there's nothing to be nervous about, the meds either worked or the didn't. What's the big deal? I should be used to this by now but, I can't help getting butterflies and working myself up about it.
At least at this appointment we will be deciding something... I think... Who knows. I always go in with a list in my head of things to ask about but in the whole 5 minutes we actually see the doc I manage to forget about all of them. Hopefully with Mark there tomorrow we'll get some more answers.
On the bright side, today is a beautiful day and I spent it with my love doing a little yard work, playing cribbage and making a delicious fruit pizza for work tomorrow. It's been a very good day :)

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Starting to write

As many of you know, Mark and I are going through a difficult time with creating a family. As far as we know, this is due to me. (Of course, right?!) I have a condition called PCOS or poly cystic ovarian syndrome. Meaning, my hormones are all out of whack and always have been. This causes everything else to follow suit.
I sought out the help of a fertility doctor in December and have been traveling down a rough road every since. It all started with 8 or so trips to the doctor's officein January for various stabs, pokes, physical exams and tests all to determine what the OB guessed I had in the first place. After all of the running around and taking 1/2 days off work a couple times a week to figure out what exactly was going on, I met with Dr. Kopher, my new fertility doc. Since then I have been off and on taking Clomid to try to get things running right.
I am currently on round 4 of the drug, halfway through my doses. After last round was a complete failure I don't hold much hope for things working out well this time around, and I am hoping that when I go in for yet another 'follicle study' on the 25th, that we will be able to talk about what needs to happen next.
I spent a good portion of my morning looking up the next steps in treatment and it looks like I will be working my way to injection therapy in August.
Fingers crossed that this is drawing to a close because I don't think I can take much more.
The last 8 months have been some on the most emotionally draining and heartbreaking I've every had to face. I always thought of myself as a tough person but PCOS is determined to knock me down a few notches.


On a much, much happier note...
Congratulations to John and Chrissy Papagianopolous on the birth of their baby girl, Alexa, this morning! She is beautiful and I can't wait to meet her.